Overcoming Depression

September 28, 2009

It was a cool Thursday evening in May of 2004 when I had my last full belly-cramping laughter. I can still remember it vividly – it happened at the family home when my mother was alive and well. Actually it was what Mama said that evening which caused this bout of laughter.

Shortly afterwards, she broke her feet and was admitted in the hospital where she later died. My depression started instantly, as Mama was my best friend. I found out that I was HIV positive nearly two years after her death and I remained in depression. I was prescribed an anti-depressant which I never took.

During this stage I contemplated taking my life but I used the Word of God against the enemy. Depression is not of God – happiness, peace and love is what God wants for all of us. Depression is a dark world that no one should be in.

From September 2006 to July 2008, I lost everything and being so depressed with no one to help me, I was frustrated. One Tuesday in August of 2008 I turned to God pouring my heart to him asking Him please to assist me in gaining employment. My prayer was answered a couple of hours later.

At my new place of employment there is weekly devotion. God not only provided me with a job but He sent me to a place where I will learn about him and re-gain my self confidence. I recommitted my life to God and I have not regretted doing so. Whenever I look in the mirror I am amazed at what God has done for me and so I am always giving Him all the praise and thanks. I am not only thankful to him but to those He sent inside my life to help me grow. God is Awesome.

We all go through our bouts of depression. It has been inside this world from biblical days, but it is how we work to remove it from our life that is important. In 1 Samuel Chapter 1 we saw where Hannah was in depression when she was unable to conceive. She overcame it when she learned to trust God. There is nothing too big for God to do; seek his face and leave your problems in his capable hands.

God has never left us but we sometimes leave Him; but just like the prodigal son we can go back home. Open your heart to Him; He will do what you are depending on the medication to do for you. Just transfer your faith to God.

No matter what the circumstances, God will do it for you once you learn to believe, trust and have faith in Him. Hannah was able to conceive when she practiced these three. I challenge you to read this wonderful story and when you pray ask God to give you the Spirit of Hannah.

PRAYER

Heavenly Father, YOU are worthy to be praised. There is no God like you. Your Glory shines and your wonders are plentiful. As I come in your presence Heavenly Father I ask you to remove this spirit of depression from my life. I know this is not of you because you are God of Love, Peace and Happiness. I believe that my change has come and that through my faith I am delivered.

Thank you for your Grace and Mercy for the blood that was shed on Calvary. All these I ask through Jesus Christ. Amen

I leave Psalm 42:5 and Psalm 46:1 with you. Read and pray believing that your change has come.

God Bless and Keep You.

Leave a Comment » | HIV/AIDS, Jamaica | Tagged: , , , , | Permalink
Posted by ksurrina

Perservance and Determination Is The Key

August 24, 2009

The just concluded 12th IAAF World Championship showed us what perservance and determination is all about from a Jamaican perspective.

I grew up seeing Merlene Ottey, Juliet Cuthbert, Grace Jackson-Small and Winthrop Graham to name a few, competing and making us proud on the World Athletics stage. Even though we knew that Jamaica should be in the Top 5 it never happened at that time. The experts and sports enthusiasts wondered and pondered why. With all the success of our previous athletes at these meets we would come away with a 8th or 10th spot.

Even at the age of 12 I knew that these athletic meets were full of performance enhancement athletes and hence the ones who were running clean were unable to get their just rewards.

I am writing this to show us in the HIV community if we apply these two ingredients, perseverance and determination, as the Jamaicans have done, then we can make it. We all can be a Merlene Ottey and an Asafa Powell in our own little ways.

Merlene Ottey

We affectionately called her our Bronze Queen. Each time she ran a race it was done with grace and poise even when they cheated her. How can we apply this in our life as HIV-infected persons? Each time you are taking the medication don’t see it as a negative. Take the medication with love and understanding. Instead of saying “Time for the dreaded pills’ say “It is time for my vitamins.”

You will be surprised to see the difference in your body’s reactions. Remember your mind is a powerful tool and the message you send there is what will be forwarded to the rest of the body’s members.

Asafa Powell

He is affectionately called the Sprint Prince but for me he is the Sprint King. Asafa has never won an individual Gold medal but he is the first person to take the 100m World Record to this small island Jamaica. Other Jamaicans had it before, but not under the Jamaican Flag.

Asafa’s humility and persevering attitude as a team player is what stands out the most to me. He is always there when he is needed and never backs down even when negatives are spurted at him. By adopting this attitude we will fight self discrimination. You never hear Asafa talking negative, neither does he apply excuses if he doesn’t achieve his goal. If we want to live a long and fulfilled life living with HIV then we have to forget the negatives and stop the excuses.

HIV/AIDS discrimination has changed over the years just as how athletics has. It has now becoming a cleaner sport and its credibility is now creeping back thanks to those athletes that have maintained a performance enhancement drug-free life. The fight against self-discrimination can be stopped as well if we are determined to put aside the negatives that we build around HIV/AIDS in our lives.

Join a support group either in your country or online. Think positively and always remember to LOVE yourself because no one can LOVE you the way you do.

Congratulations to the Jamaican contingent to the 2009 Athletics World Championship; once again you make me very proud to be a Jamaican.

2 Comments | HIV/AIDS, Jamaica | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by ksurrina

Just Being Diagnosed With HIV

July 17, 2009

You were asked to do several blood tests, one of them an HIV/AIDS test. You were not worried about this test because you knew you were practicing safe sex and so this was not a concern.  One week after doing these tests you received a call from your doctor’s office asking you to visit because the results were in.

While sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for your name to be called some nervous jitters came along but still you pushed them away. Then it was your turn and you went in with a nervous smile. The doctor smiled and did his customary courtesies, then he told you ‘I am sorry to tell you but your HIV/AIDS test result shows that you are positive’.

You were bewildered and shocked, and then the tears came.

I am here to tell you not to stress yourself – there is life after the diagnosis. It is not having the disease but what happens next after being told about your status. Depression will not help you; it only takes off months or years from your life. When you come out of it, then you will see the mess that you have made of your life, not the disease.

Here is my advice:

Education

Get yourself educated about this disease; forget about what you had heard before whether it be negative or positive. Search the internet, there are tons of information sites. One good website is www.thebody.com where there are online doctors you can talk with or you can participate in their forum.

Medication

Abide to the instructions of your doctors. Always take your medications on time, eat healthy and exercise. If you are living in a country where the medications are not free then talk with members in the HIV/AIDS community to see where you can get the cheapest price. Don’t allow pride to stop you from shopping for this.

Socialization

Join HIV chat rooms my favorite is STARCHAT or your country/community support groups. Don’t be afraid to talk about your status- this is how you will become comfortable with it. In doing this you are also helping others to fight against discrimination.

Religion

Try and build a relationship with your God if you don’t have one; if you already have one, then draw closer to him. I have come to depend on Him and realize that without Him in my life I would still be lost.

Personal Finance

Continue to seek your financial freedom don’t give up on achieving it. If you have not started then this is the perfect opportunity to look into your life and begin. There are numerous sites that speak about this but my favorite is www.financiallysmartadvice.com. This site as helped me to see the wrongs I had made in the past and now I have started to make things right.

Start with a budget and don’t forget the 10% rule in savings no matter how small it is put aside something for that emergency day. I said emergency because with us it is not the disease but the various complications, so we have to prepare for them especially if there is no life insurance.

Take heart and trust in God. Remember it is not the end of your life to be diagnosed with HIV/AIDS but it will be if you allow it to consume you.

Blessings

8 Comments | Health, HIV/AIDS, Jamaica | Tagged: , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by ksurrina

Support And You

May 10, 2009

On Wednesday April 15, I celebrated my 33rd birthday. Upon awakening I gave thanks to the Heavenly Father for giving me the breath of life. Then I took a moment of reflection, remembering my mother and visualizing my past birthdays when she was here wishing me a happy birthday. After a few minutes I started preparing for the day’s work.

Couple hours later the valley’s started lol. Yes I said valley’s because you know that when the devil see you happy he throws something in your way.  An email was forwarded to me from two members of my relatives, so  I send an email advising them to desist from sending these chain emails because I don’t like them. To my great surprise I was told that at this time in my life I need support and instead of embracing this I am pushing them away lol.

Family/Relatives Support

What is family/relatives support when before you were diagnosed with any critical illness they were not around so why now. Should I open my arms for hypocritical family support or continue living my life as before? I hop for the latter. Being diagnosed with HIV doesn’t mean that I should be a burden to anyone. I wasn’t before and I am not going to start now.

God’s Love and Plan

Before anything happen to us God has prepared what He had in store  for us.  1 Corinthians 10vs13  states No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it . (NIV)  Once we starts to believe God’s words and applying them to our heart then we will not accept gratitudes that are not genuine.

Yes I love my relatives but loving someone does not means that your eyes should be closed to the realities of life.  Remember there is nothing wrong in seeking support because no one is an island but make sure that this support will strengthen you and not add to your problems. Be strong and never leave God out of your plannings. When that voice says you can’t rebuke it and say with God nothing is impossible.

Blessings


2 Comments | Health, HIV/AIDS, Jamaica | Tagged: , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by ksurrina

My Country and its Affairs

February 2, 2009

In his New Year’s message, the Prime Minister of Jamaica, Hon. Bruce Golding spoke about the world financial crisis and its coming effects on our country. He implored us the citizens of Jamaica to continue to be resilient and to draw back on their fighting spirits to overcome this crisis.

I am not against this, but what I would like my country’s Prime Minister to do is to return to his Christian beliefs. When the Opposition Leader Mrs. Portia Simpson-Miller was Prime Minister she was never ashamed to talk about her love and faith for God. In return God placed her in his favor in which her eighteen months of stewardship this country saw the lowest inflation which was 2%. It was like everything she touches turn to Midas gold. Her deals were successful and the country was striving.

Jamaica is a country which was once God-fearing and we need to go back to those days to allow God to help us weather this storm. There are numerous scriptures that can attest to God’s faithfulness. I long for the day when my Prime Minister will acknowledge God, worship him in spirit and truth. Forget about the naysayers and the negative ones. Ask God sincerely to help you to lead this country Jamaica the Land We Love. One thing I have learnt is that no one becomes a leader without the stamp of approval from God.

I remembered that when Mr. Golding was on the campaign trail for the 2007 general elections, he was never afraid to speak about God so why stop now? When God is in the vessel we can weather any storm. Put him there. Place Jamaica on the pinnacle of the world, let us show others that we are small but we can go through this financial crisis because God is at the head. Just as how Jesus said “Peace be still,” it will be for us in Jamaica when you take the mantle and speak with God’s authority.

Jamaican athletes showed the world that we are world beaters; we can do the same in this world crisis. But you, Mr. Prime Minister, have to do it first. Be the driver that you are.

Just have faith and believe,
Jesus can still the rising tide,
Yes He can.
When you are in a crisis call out to Him,
He is there waiting to help,
Make the first step He will do the rest,
Have faith and believe,
He will carry us through.

Never give up that’s the devil’s plan,
He is there lurking,
Don’t give him the chance,
Arise Jamaica take back what the devil as stolen from you,
Arise and make the enemy be scattered,
Arise in Jesus’ name, Arise.

1 Comment | Jamaica | Tagged: , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by ksurrina

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