This Is What I Call Determination

May 8, 2010

I came across this article on Naijipals.com about a fellow female who is determine  to succeed in life. She is unable to finance her college tuition and so she did the unthinkable.

She learned how to drive a Keke. A Keke is a public transportation in Nigeria. While reading this article my heart swelled with pride knowing that this young lady is determine to be someone in life so she went the non traditional route.

http://www.naijapals.com/modules/naijapals/nigeria?topic=36727.0

Our Heavenly Father Jehovah told us that He will take care of us. Jesus Christ told us in His words that we should seek and we will find, knock and the door shall be open to us, ask and it shall be given.

How many of us in our situation sit down and cried in our miseries instead of venturing out. I challenge you today to be like this Nigerian do the non traditional to gain success and remember in everything place our Heavenly Father at the Head through the blood of Jesus Christ and He will pave the way for you.

All is well when we learn to depend on the Trinity. Three different Heavenly Spirit working in one accord.

Hugs and blessings

PS:  Ksurrina now has a CHATROOM.  It would be inspiring to have you stopping by

http://ksurrinahivchat.com/

1 Comment | Christianity, Determination, Health, HIV/AIDS, Jamaica, Motivation, Nigeria | Tagged: , , , , , , , | Permalink
Posted by ksurrina

It’s Now Four (4) Years

February 26, 2010

I visited my doctor on Monday February 22, 2010, not my HIV Specialist but my Family Practitioner Dr. R. Dowe. I anticipated this visit because I had not been there for the past three (3) years.

As usual the waiting room was full and my waiting period was approximately one (1) hour. Sitting there I started to reflect on the day I was diagnosed then I come to realized that during this difficult period in my life he was not only my doctor but the Angel that the Lord has sent to guide me.

It is now four (4) years of my diagnosed and it is because of the brotherly advice of Dr. Dowe that I was able not to see the virus as a foe. Even though I went against his advice of not telling anyone, an advice that I am totally against I appreciate all the time he spent on searching around to gather information for us. I pray that the good Lord Jesus Christ continue to bless and strengthen his practice, enriched his life, the members of his family and all those that are impacted by him.

Being Diagnosed for 4 Years

It wasn’t an easy road, overcoming depression, learning about myself, striving to build a business and having my one on one relationship with God, through it all am thankful to still be alive and being medication free. (Yes I have a phobia and it is the HIV medication. The reason being once you are on it you cannot come off).

Eve for Life

This organization is for Women and Children living with HIV. It was founded by two powerful and wonderful women of God Mrs. Joy Crawford and Miss Patricia Watson. Their mission is to educate and empowered women who are living with HIV in Jamaica. I know that with God’s continual presence in their lives and this organization it shall be accomplish. There is more information here http://eveforlife.org.

Regrets

WOW are there any? Will I deem mentally ill if I said NO. Lol There are times when we look in our lives and see that because of disobedience we end up on the wrong tracks, but the Heavenly Father in his infinite mercy did not allow it to consumed us. So because of this outlook I said No, I have learned from my mistakes and so instead of harboring regrets I prefer to use those mistakes to strengthen me.

Nothing in life can stop us from achieving our dreams. Obstacles will arise but it is you the individual who should take the negatives and turn it into a positive. My favorite line is ‘I am positive in blood so why shouldn’t I be positive in mind.’

Shout Out

Now I cannot end this without giving a shout out to my Nigerian friends Amila, Deji, Prince,Vincent, Ambrose and Uby,   American Friend  Sandybabe .

The Love of God is within us, learn about it, practice it and your lives shall be enriched.

God bless You All

3 Comments | Christianity, Health, HIV/AIDS, Jamaica, Religion | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by ksurrina

Happy New Year

January 19, 2010

I pray that all is well with you and that you have made a good New Year  Resolution. Remember that there is nothing in life which is impossible with God and he will provide for you. All we need to do is open our heart to Him and be sincere in what we ask for. The bible talked about a double minded person and so be very sure of what you need this year.

In life there will be trials but it is not the valleys we find ourselves in but the perseverance and strong will we have to be successful. Now remember that in setting goals we need to be conscious of our financial life and so preparing a budget is good. You can download a budget form at http://financiallysmartonline.com you will find it in the financial tools section.

HIV/AIDS Leadership Seminars

This seminar is now finished. I have been to 9 different areas which were sometimes nerve wrecking for me. It was the grace of God that brought me through some of them. The discrimination and stigmatizing that were displayed helped me to recognize that ignorance is the main factor for most individuals; who are uncomfortable to be around persons who are living with the disease. It always give me great pleasure knowing that at the end, they are more educated and are eager to contribute back to society with the things they have learned. As we know that ignorance is based on fear and so once armed with knowledge it makes life much easier.

My Health and Rededication

In December 2009 I went to the clinic for my regular check up and was amazed at the continued presence of the Lord in my life. My Viral Load showed a tremendous decrease that astonished both me and my doctor. Since being diagnosed in 2006, I have not been taking medication because my CD4 is still above the requirements. To see my Viral Load decreasing I know that this is God’s doing and nothing that I have been doing. Hence I still believe that miracles still happens.

Even though I was a backslider at the time I always recognized and acknowledged God’s divine presence in my life. The doors He has opened for me and so on January 10, 2010 I rededicated my life to him. I am glad that I have taken this step once again. God has carried me through so much and so my continuing work in His Kingdom is my repayment to him.

His joy, love and peace are more to me than anything else. I am glad that I never went to church the moment I was diagnosed with this disease instead I learned to build a one on one relationship with him. It gives me great pleasure in knowing that I went back to him because I see his wonderful works inside my life.

So my friends I just want to encourage you to build that one on one relationship with Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior with him nothing is impossible.

Hugs and blessings to you all.

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Posted by ksurrina

Living With HIV and Being Thankful

November 14, 2009

There are times misfortune comes inside our lives. For us living in the HIV community it is hearing about our positive diagnosis. It could have been worse like dying on the spot in a car accident. After being diagnosed, some turn to drugs, illicit sex etc, but in the midst of all this the word of God says we should be thankful.

How many of us rediscover ourselves after being diagnosed with HIV? I have and I am thankful to God for giving me this opportunity. Before being diagnosed I was a God-fearing, kind-hearted and never-say-no person. These attitudes gave me a lot of friends and so I was never lonely. In the first two years after diagnosis I lost all of these friends and I went into depression. When the burden got too much for me I cried out to God inside my heart via a prayer.

The Reason I Am Thankful

In the past year and three months while building my one-and-one relationship with God I have rediscovered myself. In my discovery I learned to love myself, about God’s love for us, about this disease that is living inside of my body, personal finance, Internet marketing and personal growth.

I am thankful for the transformation that God has brought inside my life and the persons he placed to help me to achieve it. Special mention to the following:

Cherryl Hanson-Simpson – Financial Advisor

Pastor Jacqueline Cousins – EstDeb Ministries

Paulette Wolfin – Former Employer

Amila Gbenga Segun – Friend

These individuals have contributed positively to my life and because of this I am thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to be among them.

So in closing I would like to say never look at the valleys that seem uncrossable, just remember to be thankful because in the midst of it all God is carrying you and He has a purpose for you; hence the story Footprints in the Sand.

Ephesians 5:20  Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Blessings

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Posted by ksurrina

Just Being Diagnosed With HIV

July 17, 2009

You were asked to do several blood tests, one of them an HIV/AIDS test. You were not worried about this test because you knew you were practicing safe sex and so this was not a concern.  One week after doing these tests you received a call from your doctor’s office asking you to visit because the results were in.

While sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for your name to be called some nervous jitters came along but still you pushed them away. Then it was your turn and you went in with a nervous smile. The doctor smiled and did his customary courtesies, then he told you ‘I am sorry to tell you but your HIV/AIDS test result shows that you are positive’.

You were bewildered and shocked, and then the tears came.

I am here to tell you not to stress yourself – there is life after the diagnosis. It is not having the disease but what happens next after being told about your status. Depression will not help you; it only takes off months or years from your life. When you come out of it, then you will see the mess that you have made of your life, not the disease.

Here is my advice:

Education

Get yourself educated about this disease; forget about what you had heard before whether it be negative or positive. Search the internet, there are tons of information sites. One good website is www.thebody.com where there are online doctors you can talk with or you can participate in their forum.

Medication

Abide to the instructions of your doctors. Always take your medications on time, eat healthy and exercise. If you are living in a country where the medications are not free then talk with members in the HIV/AIDS community to see where you can get the cheapest price. Don’t allow pride to stop you from shopping for this.

Socialization

Join HIV chat rooms my favorite is STARCHAT or your country/community support groups. Don’t be afraid to talk about your status- this is how you will become comfortable with it. In doing this you are also helping others to fight against discrimination.

Religion

Try and build a relationship with your God if you don’t have one; if you already have one, then draw closer to him. I have come to depend on Him and realize that without Him in my life I would still be lost.

Personal Finance

Continue to seek your financial freedom don’t give up on achieving it. If you have not started then this is the perfect opportunity to look into your life and begin. There are numerous sites that speak about this but my favorite is www.financiallysmartadvice.com. This site as helped me to see the wrongs I had made in the past and now I have started to make things right.

Start with a budget and don’t forget the 10% rule in savings no matter how small it is put aside something for that emergency day. I said emergency because with us it is not the disease but the various complications, so we have to prepare for them especially if there is no life insurance.

Take heart and trust in God. Remember it is not the end of your life to be diagnosed with HIV/AIDS but it will be if you allow it to consume you.

Blessings

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Posted by ksurrina

Support And You

May 10, 2009

On Wednesday April 15, I celebrated my 33rd birthday. Upon awakening I gave thanks to the Heavenly Father for giving me the breath of life. Then I took a moment of reflection, remembering my mother and visualizing my past birthdays when she was here wishing me a happy birthday. After a few minutes I started preparing for the day’s work.

Couple hours later the valley’s started lol. Yes I said valley’s because you know that when the devil see you happy he throws something in your way.  An email was forwarded to me from two members of my relatives, so  I send an email advising them to desist from sending these chain emails because I don’t like them. To my great surprise I was told that at this time in my life I need support and instead of embracing this I am pushing them away lol.

Family/Relatives Support

What is family/relatives support when before you were diagnosed with any critical illness they were not around so why now. Should I open my arms for hypocritical family support or continue living my life as before? I hop for the latter. Being diagnosed with HIV doesn’t mean that I should be a burden to anyone. I wasn’t before and I am not going to start now.

God’s Love and Plan

Before anything happen to us God has prepared what He had in store  for us.  1 Corinthians 10vs13  states No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it . (NIV)  Once we starts to believe God’s words and applying them to our heart then we will not accept gratitudes that are not genuine.

Yes I love my relatives but loving someone does not means that your eyes should be closed to the realities of life.  Remember there is nothing wrong in seeking support because no one is an island but make sure that this support will strengthen you and not add to your problems. Be strong and never leave God out of your plannings. When that voice says you can’t rebuke it and say with God nothing is impossible.

Blessings


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Posted by ksurrina

My Walk With God

January 22, 2009

When I realized that I was HIV positive, all the persons that I interacted with encouraged me to return back to God, but I was very stubborn. My reply was I am not going back to Him because of my diagnosis. Yes I believe that God can heal me but I was not going to make this sickness the reason for returning.

Even though I was not attending church I drew on the Christian principles that I was grown with. Then I realized that this was not enough, and in January 2008 I started attending church. This is when I faced discrimination in the church, and not knowing what to do, I ran from the church again. LOL

You see the whole existence of Jesus Christ is based on a four letter word LOVE but this was not displayed at the church. I remember telling the pastor that I wanted to be re-baptized and she told me that when we visited another church she would allow me to do it there. Then I said, “Why should I go to another church to be baptized when this church has its own pool?” I just stopped going.

It was August 2008 that I received a job which transformed my life and brought me closer to God. When I began working at this job I was nervous and afraid wondering if I was open with my diagnostic report, would I be asked to leave. So, with apprehension, I began to work. I started on a Wednesday and the following Monday morning there was a bible study session. I was taken aback because you don’t see this happening at the workplace. It was at one of these weekly bible study meetings that I reconfirmed myself with God and exposed the secret that I was carrying in my heart.

I know that I am far from being an ideal Christian but I have learned so much about God in these weekly bible study meetings that I have begun to apply the teachings in my life. Even while writing this, my Dad was discussing about an ointment that he bought. His first thought is “I wonder if this will work,” and my response to him was “Stop giving the devil reason to make the ointment not to work. You should say this ointment will work through the will of God.”

It is good when you are reading the word of God and applying it in your life. I have started to do this and it has made me feel so wonderful and positive minded. There are some things that I have learned that I would like to share with you:

1.     Forgiveness – Displaying this allows me to stop holding grudges

2.    Murmuring – Once I have forgiven, I also stop murmuring about  the  negative  events that took place in my life.

3.    Love – Starting to show love again allows me to start smiling again. The  smile that I have lost over the years has come back, and people have noticed and commented on it.

4.    Prayer – Using the format of A.C.T.S. Which is Acknowledgment,
Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication, I have seen where
the spirit of God is playing a great role in my life.

I am not saying that everything is rosy and smooth sailing because you know when you are doing the things of God then the devil is right there to place fear in your heart. Yes, he is right there lurking and sometimes I will allow fear to creep in. But then I just reprimand myself in the way of a reminder, which is that God does not give anyone the spirit of fear. I place this on my heart and repeat whenever fear comes to the forefront.

I love this passage of scripture:   “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” -   1 Corinthians 10:13.

Yes, I have lost friends and a job; but in this I have also gained friends that have empowered me and a job that has enabled me to know a greater Friend who will never leave me – Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour.

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Posted by ksurrina

Positiveness and Empowerment

January 4, 2009

“Beg yu $50, I am HIV Positive,” said the beggar.

My friend went to a hotel in Jamaica for a meeting and saw this man begging. He was so disgusted because of what the beggar said. He said, “Ksurrina this is one of the reason persons will continue to discriminate against HIV/AIDS infected person. This man is begging and using the illness as an excuse not to work.”

Does this illness give this individual a reason to beg? In my opinion, no. After speaking with the beggar, my friend discovered that he lost his job because of the illness and saw begging as the only option. Should I be against this man and his begging? To be honest I am not against it. I am just hurt that he is using this illness as an excuse because there are so many ways one can help his/her self.

Being infected with HIV/AIDS does not make one a lesser person. Yes, after finding out about your status you will lose your self confidence, but you need to know what you are aiming for in life. I have seen my ex-boyfriend turn to the bar drinking and smoking as if his world has ended, even though I was there with him when everyone was encouraging me to leave. When an HIV/AIDS person goes around doing negative things in this world citizens will continue to have derogatory words to say and the fight against discrimination will be in vain.

Jamaica has an health care system which is rated among the best in the world. The health care personnels are always willing to give support, and so it comes as a surprise to me when I hear that a person is doing what the beggar is doing. Medication is free and always in stock, and also there is food support as well.

No sickness should stop someone from empowering his/her self. There is no such word as being unemployable. Everyone has a talent which is hidden, look for it and you will find it. Everyone has a passion for doing something. What we need to do is turn the passion into earning ability.

Since working with my contract boss who is a financial advisor I have learnt three things which are essential in surviving:

God – Always make sure he is the center of whatever you set out to do;

Self Confidence – Having a good self confidence enables one to think positively;

Passion - Turning what you love to do in earning ability.

When a person put his/her self in a positive and fulfilling mood, he/she will look back at the accomplishment achieved and will be proud. I am proud of where I am now, even though I have not accomplished my goal as yet, which is to become a social worker. Just looking back at how I would have taken my life in 2007, and now I am in 2009, I am thankful to God.

For 2009 I would implore you to think and declare positiveness and you will see the blessing of the Lord on your life. Remember, everything in life starts with you!

Have a Blessed and Positive 2009.

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Posted by ksurrina

How HIV Change My Life

December 20, 2008

After discovering that I was HIV positive I went to my partner and told him. His reaction at first was “You are lying.” I gave him an ultimatum (a) Visit the doctor (b) leave my house. I was never in doubt that he was the person who infected me. So together we went to the lab. I retested myself at the advice of my doctor and he was also tested. After receiving the results he was placed on ARV medication immediately. His Viral Count was below the 350 viral load requirements.

I went against my doctor’s advised told my elder sister and the few friends I had. First I must admit that I was naïve and didn’t know the fully impact of what this disease is capable of doing. After informing them I found out that they were only friends in name but where support is well what can I say ‘No one was around after my declaration’. My sister on the other hand she invited me at her home. I used the word invited because we are not close. She is more close to my smaller sister. There is only three of us. So I was glad for this opportunity to have someone to talk with. In spite of everything she is my sister that I love. But beneath all this hand of graciousness there was a storm brewing, which I was ignorant to. Looking back I cannot believe how vulnerable I was. So I accepted her out stretched hand and begun to unload my burden. I should let you my readers know that I lost my mother the year before and she knew that we were close so she used this to remind me that I can trust her. In which I did.

First Bout With Discrimination

So after one month and three weeks of visiting and bonding the dam burst. This is my first bout with discrimination. I received a phone call discriminating me and my boyfriend. In this message I was called all the dirty name that is given to a HIV/AIDS person and at the end of the message I was told that I will be losing my job sooner than I anticipated. At this time I was working at an Wholesale as a Branch Manager. Two weeks after receiving this message I was framed and fired. I was so distraught that I was not even thinking straight. What I know now to what happen then those employers would be in court showing the evidence why I was being sacked. You see there are Laws here in Jamaica that protects HIV individuals at the Workplace. I didn’t do the things that was in the letter so I could have contested it and win too.

After losing my job I went into self employment. I opened a business that was flourishing but I forget all of my Christian teaching and things started to go haywire. Instead of flourishing the business started to failed after nine months of existence. I went to secured a loan and was successful but this didn’t help. This is when frustration and misery started to creep in. Then those suicidal thoughts started coming. At one time I was contemplating thoughts of murdering my boyfriend. I remember I was so frustrated that I draw a machete at him. I was in an element unknown to me.

Wrestling With Suicidal Thoughts

At this time in my life I realized that the devil was real. I was there conversing with this spirit how to end my life. It was as if I am in a state of unconsciousness. I saw myself in the deep blue sea of Helshire Beach. The water covering me. For weeks the devil showed me how to commit this sin against God. Every day this spirit came to me with different options of taking my life but it always end up at some beach in Portmore. The spirit leave me when I told it that if I commit this sin I would not see the face of God and I wanted to do this even though I am a backslider. After overcoming this battle I then went and visit my father and told him that I was going to murder my boyfriend. His response to this was ‘Who is going to get a Lawyer for you’. My reply was ‘If Mama was alive I know that she would be supporting me’. He just shake his head and told me I was talking foolishness. Looking back I am glad that he told me those words.

I am so happy that he was levelheaded. At the time I was deep in depression and I thought that this was the only way out for me. Now looking back one year later I am glad that I was able to overcome all these negatives that was happening and today because of the Love of God on my life I can be able to be positive minded and cope with all the trials and temptation that has come my way.

Hosea 6 vs 1: Come, and let us return to the LORD; For He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up.

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Posted by ksurrina

HIV/AIDS Discrimination

December 11, 2008

On December 1, 2008, the HIV/AIDS community celebrates AIDS Awareness Day Worldwide. Some persons referred to it as a deadly disease and because of ignorance discrimination is shown Worldwide. In every country Worldwide there is more concentration on Sex Workers and Homosexual, but in my opinion everyone is vulnerable to this disease.

Living with HIV is not a death sentence, it only requires  an infected person to pay more attention to his/her health. There are a lot of HIV infected persons who do not take ARV medication but have to take extra care of their nutrients intake. The requirement for one to start taking the ARV medication is at 350. This is where your CD4 comes in. As soon as your viral count is 350 or less the doctor will prescribe ARV . You are required to take this blood test twice per year. If one is diagnosed with pneumonia then you will have to start on ARV instantly. Having a good self esteem will enable you to combat the discrimination of this world.

Every HIV infected person faces discrimination from both family and friends but if you lose respect for yourself then you will be allowing another to disrespect you as well. There are a lot of persons who do not belong to the above-mentioned categories and still are infected. I believe  that there is a God who loves everyone and because of His Love we can overcome the daily obstacles we face.

Instead of hanging your head in shame because of  contracting this disease one should take the opportunity to educate one’s self as well as others. After all, one could have ended up having  Cancer, Hepatitis or even an accident which could have resulted in loss of life or dismemberment of the body. My dream is that persons worldwide will help to fight discrimination so that children living with this disease can build the self esteem that he/she has lost. This will enable them to achieve whatever goal he/she has set.

Love and Encouragement this is what a person who is living with HIV/AIDS needs to build back their self esteem. Please help us fight the fight of HIV/AIDS Discrimination.

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Posted by ksurrina

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