Have you ever felt frustrated not knowing what to do or where to turn?
I was rebaptized in January and I started to believe that this was it. That my prayers are being answered and so all is well. I remembered attending church one Sunday and my bishop told me that my trust and faith in God was weak and that I need to start developing this. My answer to him was that he doesn’t know how far the Lord has taken me from and that he doesn’t know me. Looking back I cannot believe how stupid I was and how full of myself I am at the time. Lol
Between January-March I spend my time continuing to live the life I was used to spending all my time here on the internet and worrying about a long distance relationship I had. In March my laptop started giving up on me. It was on my birthday April 15, I declared that am 34yrs old and so my life begins now.
Building of my Faith and Trust
All this time I thought that I trusted the Lord and that my faith is in abundance but now I know differently. A cheque was outstanding for me, every time I called for it I was told that I will be getting it soon. One day I became frustrated and I said “God let thy will be done where this cheque is concern” couple weeks later the still quiet voice of the Holy Spirit says “Call about the Cheque” and when I did, I received it two days later. I started rejoicing but during my rejoicing I became sick. I said I know this is an affliction instead of giving up I started looking at my Christian life.
In the month of May I was able to purchased a refurbished desktop and paid an outstanding phone bill that my father ignored without telling me. I was able to eat food after earnestly praying to God. This month allowed me to see my Heavenly Father and the Savior of my soul Jesus Christ.
Fasting
June came and I started to be more mindful of my Christian walk but then a trial came up which having me crying for 3 days. I couldn’t take it any more and so when I went to devotion at the office where I recommitted to Christ I told my mentors Pastor Jackie and Cherryl what was happening to me. Then I was told to fast for seven days.
I have never fasted in my life. So the next day I unplug the computer tidy my room, have a bath and reached for my bible. Those seven days has opened my eyes to who my Heavenly Father was, what He wants of me, whose child I am and what it means to be obedient. Then I realized that the Holy Spirit was always inside of me since the age of 8 when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, but I was too disobedient and so I went into captivity. Yes sin to me is captivity which caused me to feel hurt and pain.
Now am rejoicing in the Lord because I now surrender all to Him. I know that trials and temptation will be coming my way, but I also know that Jesus Christ is there to help me along; instead of my usual worrying I will just use a scripture or a song to comfort my soul, knowing that my Lord is right there and He will take me through. Now I know what Christians always talked about being saved after baptism. But to me it is not saved but change.
I now understand what the word of God says that we can never be in the presence of God and still be the same. Now I feel like Moses when he went up to Mount Sinai and came back down with his face well shone that not even the children of Israel wanted to look at him. I feel like a new person with a heart that has never seen scar and hurt.
I am thankful today that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ didn’t give up on me. That He is a patient Lord.
So my friends don’t give up on yourself no matter what you are going through. Reach for your bible and pray sincerely Jesus Christ our Lord is there waiting to give you comfort through the Holy Spirit.
Continue to be bless, hugs and love
