God Work in Mysterious Ways!

April 7, 2010

Today was my HIV doctor’s appointment  and while at the clinic waiting one of my former employee  called me, her message was  “Kerry don’t worry, I know that you love to worry.” Two hours later  my doctor showed me that my CD4 count has fallen from 650 to 450. I lost 200 points in no time. He said medication for you and I said Doctor NO. He said ok and suggested that we do another one. He did his regular test and said your chest is healthy but you have to be careful because of this fall in your CD4 the lower it is the more demential it is for you.

I sat there asking him what I should do to boost my CD4. He answered by telling me to eat right and exercise. Although I already know that this was the answer I still asked because the worrying  as started. I also faced the fact then and there that I have to start eating properly that I wasn’t doing.  His next response was you are now due to do another Viral Load test. So he gave me the papers to do another CD4 and Viral Load. The result I got today was the test I did in December 2009, at the time I re-did a HIV Positive test which confirmed that am indeed HIV Positive  (I  redone this test because there were persons in Davey’s Chatroom who told him that I wasn’t HIV positive and he has banned me without confirming it with me) .  It also confirmed that I have no  other Sexually Transmitted Disease.

Upon reaching home I went to my Facebook  writing a status update when what Sidoney said came back to me ‘Kerry don’t worry, I know that you love to worry’. At that time when she said this I never know what she was saying to me and so I started telling her that am at clinic and about my association with Eve for life. Her credit got finished before I was able to complete my sentence to her and when I called her the connection was bad. The last time I spoke with Sidoney was in 2008 but today God used her to reassure me.

Yes I begin to worry and was explaining in my Facebook Profile Status about my CD4 when those words came back to me then I saw that God is indeed there for me. My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as used His angel to tell me all is well not to worry. Now am smiling because Jesus Christ is indeed in my fight and so I have lift myself up again. Yes the devil have me for some minutes but he as lost out again.

Now am smiling again why should I worry when I have a Lord and Savior who died on the cross to give me life more abundantly, why worry when my Heavenly Father Jehovah, is the possessor of Heaven and Earth. Should I still worry when the Holy Spirit the comforter and teacher is there to remind me  of things that I have forgotten so that I can be happy even after an hour of sadness.  I have three  different Heavenly Spirits working into one accord who love me and looking after me. So I have no need to  be in depression.

Thank you Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior, I love you with all my heart. It is indeed well when Jesus Christ is the center of our Joy.

Psalm 145 is what I leave with you.

BE BLESS!


I LOVE YOU

April 3, 2010

Have you ever consider these 3 words and understand how powerful they really are? Take five minutes of your time and ask yourself what does  ‘I Love You’ really means to me?

Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior commanded us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. John 3:16 told us that ‘ God so love the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whomsoever believeth in Him shall not perish but as everlasting life’. After reflecting on these words should someone be taken seriously when he/she says ‘I Love You’ to you?  But what if saying these words to someone who is battling with low Self Esteem, one who doesn’t know that God’s universal language is Love.

I enjoy watching Nollywood Movies. I see some of them being truth to life and so when they just arrive on Jamaican soil I spend a lot of money purchasing them instead of night clubbing etc. So in October of 2008 it would be naturally for me to pray for a Nigerian husband. Lol. In December of the same year I met my first Nigerian friend Amila on a HIV dating site. We started corresponding in January 2009.

Our friendship started to grow and this is when I begin to notice that at the end of our conversations he would ends with ‘I Love You’. Battling with low Self Esteem I gravitate towards these words. At this time I never know the difference between the Godly words ‘I Love You’  to the Moab (flesh) words ‘Am in Love with You’. So it was no surprise when Amila said to me let us start a long distance relationship I agreed with a warning ‘don’t break my heart’.

By this time I was slowly coming out of depression becoming more aware with the Words of God and understanding what Jesus Christ death symbolized to me. When misunderstandings started between me and Amila I started visiting Naijipals. Naijipals is a Social Networking Site for Nigerians and friends. This is where I started to become very observant in the online culture.

While participating on Naijipals I realized that saying ‘I Love You’ to a person is normal practice and if you are battling with low self esteem then you will easily fall prey to the predators using the Online Dating Sites. With this knowledge I started pushing myself to know the difference between the Godly and Moab expressions which are now being used very loosely. In doing this I recognized that no one can fall in love at first sight. This only happen after years of building and working together as a team once an interest for relationship has been developed.

My friendship with Amila he has ended which I have no regrets. I have no time to harbor regrets in life because God always know why He places persons in our lives and I have come to believe that not everyone comes to stay with us until we dies. So the work that Amila was send to do has accomplished and so his time to move on has come. I appreciate what he as done and I love him as a brother and I wish him all the best that God has in stored for him.

The death of Jesus Christ is a symbol of Love and during this festive season we should stop to pause truly reflect at what His blood symbolized to us. Are we using these words ‘I Love You’ for selfish reason or is it that we are following the advice of Jesus Christ we should love our neighbors as we ourselves.

The next time someone says ‘I love You’ to you don’t confuse it with ‘Am in Love with you’, learn to know the difference. Remember the greatest gift in life is LOVE. John 3:16

Have a happy and holy Easter Holidays.

Hugs and blessings


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